Penis Raise
I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor
I work at great depths
I always use my head first
I do not get sick days, weekends off, or public holidays
I work in a damp environment
I don't get paid overtime or shift penalties
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
I work in high temperatures
My work exposes me to contagious diseases
Response from Human Resources
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight
You fall asleep on the job after brief periods of work
You do not always follow the orders of the management team
You do not stay in your assigned position, and often visit other areas
You take a lot of non-assigned breaks
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
You don't always observe OH&S measures, such as wearing the correct protective outfits
You don't like working double shifts
You sometimes leave your assigned position before you have completed your work
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags!
Advertiser: If you can't find your ad right after clicking, don't panic... it takes the ad 30 minutes to show up following successful activation. You are on the right page, so: SUCCESS! Now go and do your job... your ad is active. :-) Sophie
