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A Joke for You

After a long night of intimacy, a young guy rolled over and was looking around when he noticed a framed picture of another man. The guy began to worry. "Is this your husband?"

"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him.

"Your boyfriend then?" he asked.

"No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear.

"Well, who is he then?" asked the bewildered guy.

The girl replied, "That's me before the surgery."



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Last Updated: 1/9/09 8:08am

1. Vivienne [ 978 ] ··· "Great Beginnings lead to happy endings!" If you are searching for a refreshing change of menu I am confident you will not be disappointed in a true genuine Girl-Friend-Experience you will find in me. i am available from 8am-8pm 7 days per week and start answering my phone at 6am. 1/2 hr. $200; 1 hr. $300; 2nd hr. $250. if you would like multiple hrs. please give a reasonable notice. I have a very private incall location close to all major highways; and host at only up-scale Hotels while I travel.Please feel free to call for more info or to make an appointment. (Please no blocked/private calls...they go right to voice-mail)I look forward to meeting you soon! Kisses, Vivienne ... To see my Profile and reviews please go to: http://www.escorts.com/viewprofile.asp?m=1869335 ··· E-MAIL · WEBSITE · PHOTO ( Hits In: 1160 Hits Out: 65 )viv69069

2. SEXY VERONIQUE...CENTRAL MA.BEST KEPT INCALL SECRET! [ 508 978 ] ··· I'm A Mature Independent Gfe Courtesan Catering Exclusively To The Mature Professional Gentleman Over The Age Of 40.I Host Daily Incall Service At My Comfortable Private Home Conveniently Located In The Central Region Of Ma..I Also Provide Outcall Service ThroughOut New England, And Outcall Service To Mature Professional Couples. Come See Why Everyone Calls Me Central Ma Best Kept Incall Secret. Call Me Today... You'll Be Glad You Did! ··· E-MAIL · WEBSITE · ( Hits In: 4 Hits Out: 75 )ange

3. THE ULTIMATE MILF [ 508 978 ] ··· Good day gentlemen.I am a very beautiful, classy and mature independent girlfriend experience courtesan. I cater to the companionship needs of the professional single or married gentleman who is seeking a daytime or evening encounter with a sexy mature lady. I am available for incall service mon-sun from 12 noon to 11pm. I host incall service at my comfortable private home in the middlesex county area of MA. I take same day appointments on a first come first served basis. See my website for full details. ··· E-MAIL · WEBSITE · PHOTO ( Hits In: 4 Hits Out: 131 )milf

4. All Fantasies Fulfilled [ Boston ] ··· Are you tired of the ordinary then try the extrodinary I am a beautiful southern belle who aims to please I work alone but work best with others I have lots of friends and get along with them very nicely. I enjoy role play and love to dress up but dont worry I am discreet when arriving to your door. dont hesitate call me now for a truely memorable appointment ··· E-MAIL · WEBSITE · ( Hits In: 3 Hits Out: 117 )genie

5. LADY LUCILLE VOLUPTUOUS BLOND BEAUTY OF NEW ENGLAND [ MARLBOROUGH MA. CAPE COD ] ··· A Beautiful And Mature Independent Total Gfe Blond Bbw Courtesan Of Utmost Class. Companion To The Mature Professional Gentleman Over The Age Of 40 By Advance Verified Bookings Only. No Same Day Appointments Please. Please See Website For Full Details.Please Call The Number Listed On My Website To Book All Appointments. YOU WILL FIND THAT I AM AS RIPE AND SWEET AS A GLASS OF FINE RED WINE. I HAVE SOFT BEAUTIFUL HAIR OF GOLD AND ALLURING BEDROOM EYES OF DEEP SEA BLUE. MY SOFT SILKY SKIN IS LIKE FINE PORCELIAN TO THE TOUCH AND MY LIPS ARE FULL AND ENTICING. ··· E-MAIL · WEBSITE · PHOTO ( Hits In: 2 Hits Out: 27 )ladylucille

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6. CLAREESE [ Quincy ] ··· Easy going warm and responsive. I am a voluptuous 5'4", blonde. My hygiene is important to me and expect the same from clients. Showering available upon request. Note that I am shaved... completely. I look forward to seeing you and want to assure you you have someone friendly and understanding waiting for you. I am open to suggestions but decline Greek. Raincoats are a must for all play, no exceptions. Phone 617-774-6426. Donation is 150 per hour, 100 for half and a lollipop is 80 and I offer incall. Please mention ad when you call. 617-479-0403 ··· E-MAIL · · ( Hits In: 2 Hits Out: 2 )smadis

7. Independent, White, BBW looking for help with the bills [ Boston, 617 ] ··· You will find that I am very friendly, non rushed and I know how to keep you happy during our time together. I'm a discreet, drama free, independent, non pro that does this to make ends meet. I do have a white curvaceous body with natural DD's and a personality that will make you smile. I'm D/D free and I aim to please. I do have a picture and reviews upon request. I only do outcalls in Boston. ··· E-MAIL · · ( Hits In: 2 Hits Out: 1 )samantha

8. Hot 38DD AMBER ... Soooo Naughty and Sooo Nice ! [ 978,617... Boston, North Shore ] ··· I offer GFE erotic and sensuous full body massage for mature clientele only. Incall only. I'm a true GFE companion. I am never in a rush. I enjoy the time we spend together. I'm 5ft8, 34 yo, 38DD, I have beautiful green eyes. I am an expert at making you feel comfortable in a very short time. I'm a woman with class and style. I love to be in the company of a gentleman so please be one. I'm a sensuous woman who loves to put a smile on your face. I am busty, intelligent, I am clean & personable. I love my sessions personal and intimate. I enjoy intellectual conversation. I am giving and love to receive. Please email me for rates an incall location. ··· E-MAIL · · ( Hits In: 1 Hits Out: 1 )amberk12

9. Mature beautiful blonde [ northshore and New Englan ] ··· I an an experienced passionate lover, soft and sensitive to touch, I feel getting there is as enticing as being there... I am sensual and romantic... I love being a woman. I promise you will enjoy the pleasures of my maturity. Slim/Slender, 34-22-34, 5'5, Blonde, Blue eyes, Caucasian, in my 40s, Outcall/Incall. Email for an appointment ··· E-MAIL · WEBSITE · PHOTO ( Hits In: 1 Hits Out: 43 )julia

10. LUCILLE...THE CLASSIC COURTESAN [ 508 617 ] ··· My name is lucille and i'm a beautiful mature voluptuous blond bbw courtesan. I host incall service in the central region of ma. For mature professional gentlemen over the age of 40. I'm available mon-sun evenings and sat-sun daytime and evening by appointment. Please see my website for full details and appointment scheduling. ··· E-MAIL · WEBSITE · ( Hits In: 1 Hits Out: 46 )classic


11. Camille of Boston - Elite Companion [ Boston ] ··· Seduction is a state of mind. There is nothing quite as intoxicating as being seduced by the confidence and charisma of a well heeled gentleman. About you: You are likely over the age of 40 and well established within your career. With that in mind, you choose to select your companion based on her mindset rather than your purse strings.You have, by now, earned the luxury of being able to do so.You are seeking a little distraction from the mundanity of day to day life, without worrying about the entanglements of a more permanent relationship. You are completely enamored of a woman who can seduce as naturally as she can be seduced. For more about me, please feel free to peruse my website. I would be delighted to hear from you should you feel we would connect well! ··· E-MAIL · WEBSITE · PHOTO ( Hits In: 1 Hits Out: 13 )camille

12. Check Me Out Gentlemen for Extreme Pleasures [ 781, 508 ] ··· I am 55 yo female, I stand 5'5", I have a few extra pounds on me but, still have a great body and love catering to the discreet gentleman. I have been told by every man I have ever been with that I have a special talent that is second to none. I believe it will definitely be well worth your while to check me out gentlemen. I love to take my time, relax and thoroughly enjoy your company so you can thoroughly enjoy my company. I prefer email first for contact and shortly thereafter a phone call. ··· E-MAIL · WEBSITE · PHOTO ( Hits In: 1 Hits Out: 54 )ladydi53

13. Boston Constance [ 978,617,508,603 ] ··· I am an 19 year old asian girl who aims to please. I am 100 lbs, 31A-21-32, and stand at 5' 1". I have soft dark skin and a well toned body. I am interested in your complete satisfaction and am positive you will not forget this experience. I am extremely sensual but also have a playful side!Please contact me through e-mail (preferred) or voicemail and I'll get back to you ASAP. All of the info requested below is necessary in scheduling an appointment. I am located in Lowell, Ma/OUTCALL ONLY so there is a 2 hour minimum for any area outside of that.Looking forward to hearing from you!bostonconstance@yahoo.comVoicemail: 928-223-5096*For Verification Puposes I Will Need*Full NameWork or Home Phone NumberWork or Home AddressAgeDate, Time, Location and Length of Appointment ··· E-MAIL · WEBSITE · PHOTO ( Hits In: 1 Hits Out: 19 )boston

14. Roomservice [ New England ] ··· beautiful girls all over New England. low prices, check out our menu of appetizers and entrees ··· E-MAIL · WEBSITE · PHOTO ( Hits In: 1 Hits Out: 33 )sexyjill

15. A NIGHT YOU'LL NEVER FORGET!!! [ Boston ] ··· I am not native to the US but fluent in English. 23, 5'7, 150 lbs, 38C-26-38, Coke bottle curves and a pretty face, but the best part is my personality... I provide great conversation and I will always make sure you feel comfortable and well taken care of! I am available 24/7 for outcalls mainly in the Boston and surrounding areas... I am willing to travel also... feel free to give me a call ANY TIME ··· E-MAIL · · PHOTO ( Hits In: 1 Hits Out: 1 )karma


16. SOUTH COAST MASSEUSE [ Taunton New Bedford ] ··· I offer a great massage sensual or theraputic. I like to follow the gentlemans lead on what he prefers. Discretion assured. Once I'm able to somewhat verify whom you are I'm uvailable from 9 am-9 pm. I have a private location waiting to make you relax. Only respond if you are willing to let me verify who you are. My verifications are totally none invasive. Conveniently located between Taunton and New Bedford.Thank-You ··· E-MAIL · · ( Hits In: 1 Hits Out: 1 )masseuse

Maryland Mature Escort Listings

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Mature beautiful blonde ··· I an an experienced passionate lover, soft and sensitive to touch, I feel getting there is as enticing as being there... I am sensual and romantic... I love being a woman. I promise you will enjoy the pleasures of my maturity. Slim/Slender, 34-22-34, 5'5, Blonde, Blue eyes, Caucasian, in my 40s, Outcall/Incall. Email for an appointment ·· · E-MAIL · WEBSITE · PHOTO · ( Massachusetts · northshore and New Englan ) ( Hits In:3 * Hits Out:21 )

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Are You A Single Or Married Male Over The Age Of 40 Who Is Suffer From RPS [Restless P***S Syndrome]? ··· Are you a single or married man over the age of 40 living in the United States who is suffering from the pain and embarrassment of RPS [Restless P***s Syndrome]? Do you find yourself having trouble concentrating at the office because of that stiff throbbing sensation that is always emanating from between your legs?Do you find yourself forced to stand on your head 10 or more times a day during urination?Are you frequently awaken in the middle of the night from the constant movement under your sheets?Do you find yourself unable to lie on a beach without some person trying to use you as a horse shoe pit.[Those ringers must really hurt,huh.]?Do you find no relief at home even when you have taken matters into your own hands?If you have answered yes to any or all of the questions above then you are not alone my friend. You too may be suffering from RPS [Restless P***s Syndrome].Every year 9 out of 10 single and married men across the United States suffers at some point in their daily lives with the annoying discomfort of RPS [Restless P***s Syndrome].But now for the first time ever there is new hope for this terrible affliction that plagues thousands of men across America each and every year. Now once and for all you can find lasting permanent relief from your RPS [Restless P***s Syndrome] by Joining the RPS [Restless P***s Syndrome] Foundation.Allow this mature very friendly and beautiful fully trained professional RPS [Restless P***s Syndrome] therapist help you on the road to recovery from RPS [Restless P***s Syndrome] today!Hurry! This is a limited time offer.Don't delay one moment...do it today! You too can join the RPS [Restless P***s Syndrome] Foundation today and start enjoying relief from your RPS [Restless P***s Syndrome] once and for all!*Dedicated to helping single and married men across America lead better and more productive lives free from RPS [Restless P***s Syndrome].*PS...This ad may all be in good humor,but this very beautiful,highly intelligent [as you can see by this humorous satire], mature,independent,GFE courtesan is very much for real,and looking forward to meeting all you sexy gentlemen real soon. ·· · E-MAIL · WEBSITE · · ( Massachusetts · 508 978 ) ( Hits In:1 * Hits Out:13 )

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SEXY VERONIQUE...CENTRAL MA's BEST KEPT INCALL SECRET! ··· I'm a mature independent gfe courtesan. I cater exclusively to the mature professional gentleman over the age of 40.I host daily incall service at my comfortable private home conveniently located in the central region of Ma. I also provide outcall service through out New England, and outcall service to mature professional couples.Come see why everyone calls me central Ma's best kept incall secret. Call me today... you'll be glad you did! ·· · E-MAIL · WEBSITE · PHOTO · ( Massachusetts · 508 978 ) ( Hits In:1 * Hits Out:3 )

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LUSCIOUS LADY LUCILLE VOLUPTUOUS BLOND BEAUTY OF NEW ENGLAND ··· A BEAUTIFUL AND MATURE FULL SERVICE TOTAL GFE BLOND BBW COURTESAN CATERING TO THE MATURE PROFESSIONAL GENTLEMAN OVER THE AGE OF 40. HOSTING INCALL SERVICE IN THE CENTRAL REGION OF MA., LOCAL OUTCALL SERVICE IN AND AROUND THE BUZZARDS BAY AREA OF CAPE COD,AND OUTCALL TRAVEL THROUGH OUT MA. AND NEW ENGLAND.ALL SERVICE IS BY ADVANCE APPOINTMENT SCHEDULING WITH A 2 DAY NOTICE TO BOOK ALL APPOINTMENTS.PLEASE SEE WEBSITE FOR FULL DETAILS. ·· · E-MAIL · WEBSITE · PHOTO · ( Massachusetts · 508 978 ) ( Hits In:1 * Hits Out:8 )

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LET US EXPLORE NEW EROGENOUS ZONES TOGETHER ··· I'm an intelligent,upscale,professional courtesan who is sweet,kind,easy going,no drama, and no head games.Providing just a nice relaxing hour or more in a discrete,intimate,safe, private,secure setting, with off street parking.I invite you now to indulge yourself with this beautiful classy mature lady,who is reasonably priced,enjoys what she does,and takes the time to make sure that you enjoy your stay with her.I invite you into my private home, and into my welcoming loving arms where you will feel safe and secure.Allow me to take you on an erotic adventure into the inner most depths of your psyche.Together we will explore new erogenous zones with in you that has yet to have been discovered.Does that sound like a good deal to you? It sounds like a GREAT deal to me!Well if you are a professional middle aged gentleman who seeks a mature experienced lady of intelligence and class,who enjoys leisurely playtime with sexy mature men then I'm the gal for you.So take a moment now to check out my website,then give a call to schedule your appointment with me today. I hope this will be the start of a beautiful relationship together.Until we meet...Your Lady Divine Awaits Your Call. ·· · E-MAIL · WEBSITE · · ( Massachusetts · 508,617 ) ( Hits In:1 * Hits Out:15 )

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Great Beginnings Lead To...Happy Endings! (Now Offering 2 Ladies) ··· I am a Independent Companion based in the Boston area who provides quality companionship to professional gentlemen. 8am-8pm daily. "Great Beginnings lead to happy endings!" If you are searching for a refreshing change of menu I am confident you will not be disappointed in a true genuine Girl-Friend-Experience you will find in me. i am available from 8am-8pm 7 days per week and start answering my phone at 6am. 1/2 hr. $200; 1 hr. $300; 2nd hr. $250. if you would like multiple hrs. please give a reasonable notice. I have a very private incall location close to all major highways; and host at only up-scale Hotels while I travel. Please feel free to call for more info or to make an appointment. (Please no blocked/private calls... they go right to voice-mail) I look forward to meeting you soon! Kisses, Vivienne ... To see my Profile and reviews please go to: http://www.escorts.com/viewprofile.asp?m=1869335 ·· · E-MAIL · WEBSITE · · ( Massachusetts · Andover-Tewksbury ) ( Hits In:1 * Hits Out:13 )

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1. ( Boston ) Friendly, educated, white bbw with natural DD's ··· Hello there and thank you for taking the time for reading my ad. I'm clean, d/d free, no drama and no games. I offer an unrushed, friendly session and I aim to please. I do work and go to school, I just do this on the side to make ends meet. I'm just looking for some extra help with the bills. I do have a white curvaceous body with natural DD's. I've been told I have soft lips and an amazing tongue. Please keep in mind that I only see people in Boston. So this is for out calls in Boston. I hope to hear from you soon ··· E-MAIL · Hits: In: 2 / Out: 12

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2. ( 508 978 ) LUSCIOUS LADY LUCILLE VOLUPTUOUS BLOND BEAUTY OF NEW ENGLAND ··· A BEAUTIFUL AND MATURE INDEPENDENT GFE BLONDE BBW COURTESAN OF CLASS. CATERING EXCLUSIVELY TO THE MATURE PROFESSIONAL GENTLEMAN OVER THE AGE OF 40 THAT WOULD DESIRE THE COMPANIONSHIP OF A MORE REFINED WOMAN. AVAILABLE BY APPOINTMENT FOR INCALL AT A PRIVATE UPSCALE CENTRAL MA. RESIDENCE. PLEASE SEE WEBSITE FOR FULL DETAILS. ··· E-MAIL WEBSITE PHOTO · Hits: In: 1 / Out: 138

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3. ( MA, CT, RI, VT and NY ) Sensual, Responsive, Unrushed and Wildly Enthusiastic! ··· If you enjoy the look of a voluptuous, Rubenesque woman with soft skin, blue eyes, and long auburn hair, then I'm for you! I have a degree from a California University and currently work part-time as a professional in the medical field, but reserve a certain number of hours per week to indulge this endeavor. My personality has been described as affectionate, casual, warm, friendly, giving and sincere. I prefer to see only one client per day because it allows me greater flexibility in making our meeting as convenient as possible for YOU. I can come to a location that is convenient for YOU on a date and at a time that is convenient for YOU! You don’t have to share the day or the location with anyone! I will be well rested, full of energy, and at my very best to guarantee us a fabulous time together! I think you will both notice and appreciate the difference! ··· E-MAIL WEBSITE PHOTO · Hits: In: 0 / Out: 242

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4. ( Quincy/Boston ) Clareese Blonde BBW South Of Boston ··· Sweet and easy to get along with older experienced woman. I'm available for in call only. Come over and watch an adult movie, have some wine and let me take care of the rest. Mt place is clean safe and discreet, with parking. I do not speak greek and raincoats are a must for all play... NO EXCEPTIONS! ··· E-MAIL · Hits: In: 0 / Out: 10

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5. ( 617/781 ) Get the glamour treatment from a glamour girl ··· fun, flirtatious, open-minded, college educated. Well traveled. I like to have new experiences. I get together with single men,women,couples and groups for entertainment. I have wonderful girl friend experience. I look forward to meeting new people. ··· E-MAIL · Hits: In: 0 / Out: 8

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Maryland Busty escorts listing

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1. INDEPENDENT SMOKING FETISH ESCORT ··· INDEPENDENT FULL SERVICE SMOKING FETISH ESCORT CATERING EXCLUSIVELY TO THE MATURE PROFESSIONAL GENTLEMEN OVER THE AGE OF 40 WHO HAS A SMOKING FETISH. I SMOKE ALL TYPES OF CIGARETTES,CIGARS,PIPES. LET ME SMOKE FOR YOU,OR MAKE YOU SMOKE FOR ME. INCALL OR OUTCALL SERVICE IN MA.. ·· · · WEBSITE · PHOTO · ( Massachusetts · ) ( Hits In: 12 Hits Out:136 )

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2. MISTRESS LADY LUCILLE VOLUPTUOUS S&M B&D DIVA OF NEW ENGLAND ··· A BEAUTIFUL MATURE VOLUPTUOUS BLOND BBW MISTRESS DISHING OUT PAIN AND PUNISHMENT TO ALL BAD BOYS OVER THE AGE OF 40. HOSTING S&M,B&D,AND FETISH INCALL SESSIONS AT A UPSCALE PRIVATE HOME IN THE CENTRAL REGION OF MA.. AVAILABLE MON-SUN EVENING AND SAT-SUN DAYTIME AND EVENING BY APPOINTMENT. PLEASE SEE WEBSITE FOR FULL DETAILS. PLEASE SEND A EMAIL TO REQUEST ALL APPOINTMENTS. ·· · E-MAIL · WEBSITE · PHOTO · ( Massachusetts · 508 978 ) ( Hits In: 1 Hits Out:95 )

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