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A Joke for You
Top 20 Ways to Tell Someone Their Fly is Unzipped

20) The cucumber has left the salad.
19) I can see the gun of Navarone.
18) Someone tore down the wall, and Pink Floyd is hanging out.
17) You've got Windows on your laptop.
16) Sailor Ned's trying to take a little shore leave.
15) Your soldier ain't so unknown now.
14) Quasimodo needs to return to the tower and tend his bells.
13) You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.
12) Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson...
11) Your pod bay door is open, Hal.
10) Elvis Junior has LEFT the building!
9) Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.
8) Ensign Hanes reports a hull breach on the lower deck, Sir!
7) The Buick is not all the way in the garage.
6) Dr. Kimble has escaped!
5) You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary".
4) Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction.
3) You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.
2) I'm talking about Shaft, can you dig it?

and the Number One Way to Tell Someone Their Fly is Unzipped...

1) Men are From Mars, women can See Your Penis

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N E W S : Dave of Erotic Review (TER) is in jail. "Warning of many false reviews on TER (The Erotic Reviews) Not to Mention Cops and Stings and Abusive Owner of TER As a Provider Calls him, 'Worst Kind of Male Predator - Dave of TER' TER (The Erotic Review) is A Disgrace to Sexworkers" Go read about it

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<center><b>Giving Head?</b></center><br>
<font size=2>Okay men I've read alot of ads claiming you give good head but when an actual hook up occurs some of you don't have the slighest clue in hell as to what it is you are doing. And just because you love giving head doesn't mean you give it well so here are 5 small tips to help you and your lady out...
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1.) There is more to it than the clit: The clit isn't the only part of the vagina that loves attention during 69. The vagina isn't just for your dick. So stop ignoring it. Put your finger(s) in it, use a vibrator, a carrot (not my thing but I thought I'd throw it out there), something, ANYTHING but play in it please. I mean for crying out loud your face is covered in lady juices so why are you afraid of getting your hands dirty?
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2.) You have options: Speaking of the clit, there are more sensations we like other than you flicking it with the tip of your tounge. Suck it, bite it (not too hard- I can not stress this enough) or agian use your hands and give it a little break so she doesn't orgasm in 30 seconds or less. Alternate and repeat. Do you like it when a woman just bobs up and down on your dick with her mouth and nothing else or do you like it when she sucks the whole thing, then just the tip, licks it, grabs it and jacks you off while sucking it and plays with your balls? We like a little variety too.
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3.) Rug Burn = No fun: Shave your face or at the very least trim your mustache. No woman on this entire planet thinks having rug burn on her inner thighs is col. We do have to get up and go to work/school/shop when you are done. We need to be able to walk without being in constant pain. Not being able to walk because of the earth shattering orgasm one thing and is totally diferent than being in pain because our thighs are chaffing.
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4.) Her thighs are not there just to get in the way: You don't just have to rush right in and start going at it like you're starving, kissing a ladies thighs can only go one of two ways- a. it'll turn her on even more or b. she's laugh like crazy cause it tickles, either way its fun so stop using them to prop yourself up. Rub them while you're eating her out, grab them and pull her legs open but just stop pretending like they aren't there. They are an erogenous zone.
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5.) Its not going to break: There are some men who eat pussy like if they get too close or too into it its going to break. You do this too when having sex. If your lady likes it a bit harder during sex she probably wouldn't mind you losing yourself and letting go when your face is in between her legs. Bury your face in there, swim around, come up for air and then dive back in. The vagina is attached. It will not break, it will not come off, it will not need to go in and be redetailed if you bang it up a bit with your mouth so stop treating it like a new Sabb and rough it up a bit. Touch it and act like you love doing it. If you say you love eating pussy then EAT IT don't just taste test it.
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