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Penis Raise
I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

  1. I do physical labor
  2. I work at great depths
  3. I always use my head first
  4. I do not get sick days, weekends off, or public holidays
  5. I work in a damp environment
  6. I don't get paid overtime or shift penalties
  7. I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
  8. I work in high temperatures
  9. My work exposes me to contagious diseases
Response from Human Resources
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
  1. You do not work 8 hours straight
  2. You fall asleep on the job after brief periods of work
  3. You do not always follow the orders of the management team
  4. You do not stay in your assigned position, and often visit other areas
  5. You take a lot of non-assigned breaks
  6. You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
  7. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
  8. You don't always observe OH&S measures, such as wearing the correct protective outfits
  9. You don't like working double shifts
  10. You sometimes leave your assigned position before you have completed your work
  11. And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags!
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N E W S : Dave of Erotic Review (TER) is in jail. "Warning of many false reviews on TER (The Erotic Reviews) Not to Mention Cops and Stings and Abusive Owner of TER As a Provider Calls him, 'Worst Kind of Male Predator - Dave of TER' TER (The Erotic Review) is A Disgrace to Sexworkers" Go read about it
9. ( Florida_Southern · FT. LAUDERDALE ) SOUTH FLORIDA SEXY INDEPENDENT ESCORT GFE ··· Take a look for your self young lil spinner come join me sweet sexy and very discreet never a disappointment come see what I can do for you a total gfe and ready to please what you see is what you get xoxo lots of fun for a discreet time with me you will never for get my discreet location and ready and willing I have friends for extra fun ··· E-MAIL · WEBSITE · PHOTO ( Florida_Southern · FT. LAUDERDALE ) ( Hits In: 1 Hits Out: 105 )cherryli
6. ( Washington · tacoma, WA ) FREAK IN THE SHEETS ··· 5'9, Long soft red hair, beautiful blue eyes, 40D, long shapely legs, thick thighs, freckles, apple bottom, full figured/thick hourglass shape. I am a freak in the sheets there isn't much i don't do. I have great skills to drive you crazy. I have good reviews on tnaboard. I'm attractive and a good attitude, don't miss out meeting me. 120/hh 180/hr incall outcall 140/hh 200/hr meetings everyday from 9am till midnight. I speak all languages. ··· E-MAIL · · PHOTO ( Washington · tacoma, WA ) ( Hits In: 1 Hits Out: 9 )luann
11. ( Georgia · Atlanta ) SEXY CLASSY LADIES FOR YOUR PLEASURE!! ··· Hot & Luscious ladies are waiting to make your acquaintance. We are Diamond Girls, located in Atlanta GA and surrounding areas. Excellent 5 Star service, and a fun, and exciting time. We offer incall and outcall, and ensure discreet, quality service. Call today for your Diamond Girl! (404)207-3652. ··· E-MAIL · WEBSITE · PHOTO ( Georgia · Atlanta ) ( Hits In: 1 Hits Out: 68 )diamond1
30. ( EasternPennsylvania · PA (717) ) Classy, Ebony, Mature, Sexy, Full figured... ··· Hello, I'm Temptress. I am an Attractive, Mature, Busty, Ebony full-figured companion. I'm 5'6", proportionate, well spoken, and intelligent. Breast are 46DD. I'm a good conversationalist, Very open-minded, fun-loving and quite sensual. I can accompany you to any event if you wish or just relax and pamper you in front of the fireplace or under the stars. I'm a sensual provider who enjoys making dreams and fantasies come true with an upscale gentleman whom appreciates quality, maturity, and discretion. Visit my website, http://temptressdd.com to learn more. ··· E-MAIL · WEBSITE · PHOTO ( EasternPennsylvania · PA (717) ) ( Hits In: 1 Hits Out: 342 )temptres
12. ( Illinois · All of downtown Chicago, 773,708, ) Treat yourself for a change ··· Hi I'm Karisa, in early 20's, 5'6", 145 lbs, ebony princess. Down to earth girl, who likes to make the best of everything. I'm looking to provide erotic services to a clean male; you must be drug free. I'm very open minded, so I like to try to things. I'm available 24/7 and I do travel to other cities. ··· E-MAIL · WEBSITE · ( Illinois · All of downtown Chicago, 773,708, ) ( Hits In: 1 Hits Out: 93 )karisa
26. ( NYMetro · New York City (212)(718) ) HUSH GIRLS... Your Secret Indulgence ··· Whether you crave an early lunch, a mid-day rendezvous, or some after work relaxation, you'll always find a first class encounter at HUSH. Our companions are a varied selection of some of the finest ladies New York has to offer. Each possesing qualities and talents that make them a unique treasure. Each of our guests can expect to be greeted by beautiful faces in a warm, upscale environment. Have a drink and unwind while you decide on a beauty to help you pass the time. ··· E-MAIL · WEBSITE · PHOTO ( NYMetro · New York City (212)(718) ) ( Hits In: 1 Hits Out: 136 )hush
12. ( Georgia · Downtown Atlanta ) Yummmy ··· Hi fellas, are you ready for a fun delicious time with the sweetest girl in the Atlanta area...Hi my name is Virgo...I am looking to have fun all night long...I am 5'7" with the 135 pounds with the prettiest set of all natural D cups you have seen in a while...I have one tattoo on my left arm...I love to model...and I am very gentle...bad girl type...If u are ready to have fun with me let me know..I'll be waiting ··· E-MAIL · · PHOTO ( Georgia · Downtown Atlanta ) ( Hits In: 1 Hits Out: 9 )virgoluv
6. ( Nevada · Los Angeles ) Pamela Peaks' Porn Star Agency ··· Porn Star Agency specializing in porn star escorts in many different cities. 24/7 calendar showing who's traveling where, always updated. Hours & half hours available. Incall/outcall available. Credit cards ok. See website www.pamelapeaks.com for all info including pictures of all talent available. ··· E-MAIL · WEBSITE · PHOTO ( Nevada · Los Angeles ) ( Hits In: 1 Hits Out: 45 )pamelape
12. ( NYUpstate · 585 Rochester area ) The Gentlemen's Choice ... Rochelle / For quality companionship ··· Take time out of your busy day to rendezvous with a classy lady whose primary objective is to put a smile on your face and pamper you with a memorable escort experience. I offer stimulating GFE engagements to upscale professionals and affluent business travelers with a refined taste for a beautiful woman. If a discreet escape is what you desire look no further, leave your inhibitions at the door and get ready to experience ... Rochelle ··· E-MAIL · WEBSITE · PHOTO ( NYUpstate · 585 Rochester area ) ( Hits In: 1 Hits Out: 104 )rochelle
13. ( NYUpstate · Rochester, NY (585) ) Introducing upscale BBW courtesan, Kisa “Gunns” Kerrington ··· I am a 25 year old bombshell, who loves the company of true gentlemen. I am a true BBW (Big, Beautiful, Woman), with soft womanly curves. My beautiful exotic look is an intoxicating blend of Asian, Black and Spanish. I will mesmerize you with my chestnut brown eyes, flowing black hair, baby smooth skin and pouty lips. I stand 5'7" tall and my measurements are an enticing 36FF-27-42 I am relatively exclusive and truly selective about my encounters. I enjoy sharing my time with gentlemen of discerning taste I am available for upscale companionship today... I have an extremely high client return rate, therefore I cater to just a few select gentlemen. If you're looking for a gorgeous, classy, exotic companion with a great tongue for conversation, then you'll be so glad that you've found me! Please email me for rates and info. ··· E-MAIL · · ( NYUpstate · Rochester, NY (585) ) ( Hits In: 1 Hits Out: 12 )kisabbw
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bj bbj bbbj bbbjtc blow job blowjob></a> </td></tr></table> </td></tr></table> <!-- sidebar begins --> <Table width=600 cellpadding=3 cellspacing=0 border=1 bordercolor=gold><tr><td> [an error occurred while processing this directive] <center><b>Giving Head?</b></center><br> <font size=2>Okay men I've read alot of ads claiming you give good head but when an actual hook up occurs some of you don't have the slighest clue in hell as to what it is you are doing. And just because you love giving head doesn't mean you give it well so here are 5 small tips to help you and your lady out... <P> 1.) There is more to it than the clit: The clit isn't the only part of the vagina that loves attention during 69. The vagina isn't just for your dick. So stop ignoring it. Put your finger(s) in it, use a vibrator, a carrot (not my thing but I thought I'd throw it out there), something, ANYTHING but play in it please. I mean for crying out loud your face is covered in lady juices so why are you afraid of getting your hands dirty? <P> 2.) You have options: Speaking of the clit, there are more sensations we like other than you flicking it with the tip of your tounge. Suck it, bite it (not too hard- I can not stress this enough) or agian use your hands and give it a little break so she doesn't orgasm in 30 seconds or less. Alternate and repeat. Do you like it when a woman just bobs up and down on your dick with her mouth and nothing else or do you like it when she sucks the whole thing, then just the tip, licks it, grabs it and jacks you off while sucking it and plays with your balls? We like a little variety too. <P> 3.) Rug Burn = No fun: Shave your face or at the very least trim your mustache. No woman on this entire planet thinks having rug burn on her inner thighs is col. We do have to get up and go to work/school/shop when you are done. We need to be able to walk without being in constant pain. Not being able to walk because of the earth shattering orgasm one thing and is totally diferent than being in pain because our thighs are chaffing. <P> 4.) Her thighs are not there just to get in the way: You don't just have to rush right in and start going at it like you're starving, kissing a ladies thighs can only go one of two ways- a. it'll turn her on even more or b. she's laugh like crazy cause it tickles, either way its fun so stop using them to prop yourself up. Rub them while you're eating her out, grab them and pull her legs open but just stop pretending like they aren't there. They are an erogenous zone. <P> 5.) Its not going to break: There are some men who eat pussy like if they get too close or too into it its going to break. You do this too when having sex. If your lady likes it a bit harder during sex she probably wouldn't mind you losing yourself and letting go when your face is in between her legs. Bury your face in there, swim around, come up for air and then dive back in. The vagina is attached. It will not break, it will not come off, it will not need to go in and be redetailed if you bang it up a bit with your mouth so stop treating it like a new Sabb and rough it up a bit. Touch it and act like you love doing it. If you say you love eating pussy then EAT IT don't just taste test it. <P> Thank you </font> <hr noshade size=1 color=gold> <center> <a href=
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