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In light of what happened in Boston this past week, we need to see what one needs to do to make sure that we are safe.

Both victims in Boston advertised on Craigslist.
They ran incall.
They worked late nights.

There was a security hole in their operation. Either they did not screen, or their methods were not up to par.

I need suggestions, I need feedback. But make sure that you don’t stop with… don’t advertise on craigslist.
Craigslist is not the issue.
The same psycho could have used outcall.net…

It is not the advertising method, it is your method that is going to make or break you.
How do you word your ad.
How do you listen to the soul of the prospect
How do you word your answers. Are you winging it?
What are your hours?
What information you require for a booking.

I am sure I would not have seen that guy. I don’t know anything beyond his appearance, but that would have been enough for me not to open the door…
Just because you made an appointment, you don’t need to see the prospect. The last leg of the screening is how they look in front of your door! What their knocking on the door sounds like? What do you feel as you are standing at the door listening to their footsteps from the elevator to your door… are you confident, calm, or do you feel any level of anxiety?
You see, if the energy of a future attacker doesn’t get to you, then you should get out of this business! Then you are not feeling anything, and you are not safe!

– Bostonist has been known to read the Craigslist personals and erotic services ads for amusement—a lurid and sometimes hilarious glimpse at a semi-private underworld. But we rarely consider, in concrete terms, the plight of sex workers. More details were released today regarding Tuesday’s murder of a Craigslist masseuse operating out of the Copley Marriott that give us an insight into at least one tragic story.

The victim was Julissa Brisman, a 26-year-old New Yorker who was a part time model and actress. She was a recovering alcoholic. She had trouble paying her bills. Friends say she was skinny, maybe too skinny; witnesses thought that she was a girl when they found her murdered body. She was shot to death after a struggle during which somebody, probably her killer, tried to tie her up with plastic ties. Her friends thought she had left the grey world of escorting behind her.

Boston’s newspapers are running details like this because they get pageviews. Search traffic is bringing hordes of readers to Bostonist and other websites because the story of a 26-year-old white New Yorker murdered in an upscale hotel activates some basic, human voyeuristic impulse—the same impulse that makes reading Craigslist ads so titillating. But the reality is that Brisman’s death, no doubt tragic, is just the worst case scenario for a Boston sex worker. Brisman’s murder was linked to an earlier robbery at the Westin Copley, and cops investigating the case have opened a flood gate of unreported robberies among Boston’s escorts. It happens all the time.

Violence against women, which goes unreported even within marriages and other legal relationships, is a daily reality for sex workers and one that they can do little to combat. If Brisman’s death does nothing else—and we want her killer brought to swift justice—it should serve as a reminder of the perils of sex work and how little we do to protect people like Julissa Brisman from harm.

In light of recent email conversations I would not want to publish (you can email me for them) I must say that, at least in New Jersey, the powers that be have found my site, and they are diligently trying to trap the providers.

Common signs I have caught: more than one phone number. Saying that he saw someone on my site and that provider recommended that he see you. Either “none” in place of a name on the caller id, or something else fishy. The other provider doesn’t know them. Vacillating who the provider was… (as if a real client doesn’t know the provider’s name… give me a break!)

REFUSING TO BE SCREENED.

Wants outcall, will confirm, late to call you… not good. Not “normal” for a guy who is honest.
Wants you to go to his house, but refuses to be screened… inconsistent.
Using someone else’s cell phone to call you.

Guys, something is going on. Even the traffic “force” is unusually active! It must be force-wide.
Be safe. Screen, and listen to your intuition instead of your greed, or need.

We are living on the edge. don’t forget. OK?
Love you.

Me and my boyfriend are really trying to learn how to market and advertise..What are some pointers you can give to build traffic to my site and also maybe to generate some Appts. My join stats are really low. i used to do a few hundred dollars a month but now barely that. We have been really interested in the webmaster aspect of it. It’s really interesting and Fun!!

What are your rates for advertising?? any specials??

OK, I have looked at your site.
If you consider this your business website, then
1. remove all the junk, junk links, etc. be all business. Ask yourself: is this necessary for someone to book an appointment with me? if the answer is no, then please remove it.
Any word, any paragraph, any link, any picture. Sparse sites work better. Your site isn’t there to entertain: you want to entertain yourself and get paid for it, right?
2. don’t have tons of high quality pictures on your site. It attracts the look-a-loo-s, tire-kickers, and they will waste your time.

Until your site is such that you make appointments every day, don’t try to drive more traffic to it.
If you want to charge people for looking at your pictures, do it on another site, not on the same site where you want people to book an appointment.

With regards to specials: I only have the $15/month specialty picture available, in your case, you could have a picture on your busty list ad.

I just paid my rent today, storage tomorrow, websites a week from now, and so on, and so forth. It is expensive to provide advertising for this many people and it is expensive to accommodate 40-50 thousand people that visit the site.

I have been scrambling to make ends meet.

No, I am not saying that you aren’t… far from it. I am just allowing you to see into my life.

I now have more paying advertisers than ever, thank God, but even with that, it is tough. Last year I stopped taking courses, stopped traveling. I haven’t eaten out for more than two years. I also started to buy my food at Aldi’s, that is a small grocery store with no selection, so I get to go there with my minimalist shopping list, and only buy the items that are on my list. No temptation.

I have been attempting to use creative methods to increase revenue, so far in vain.

One of these methods is to offer a trade: you put up an ad for me that goes to fling, and I give you premium advertising, that cost $50 a month.

So far that scheme netted me $35, while the ads I have given out are worth about 300 bucks. Some girls put it on a page no one ever visits, and to the bottom of that, to make the trade really really a fair trade. I give you nothing, now give me a good placement. (if you can’t hear it, I am being very very very sarcastic.)

Then I got this email today:

Fling.com is a horrible site. I had it on a page of mine and someone that
used it said all the
Ads led him to pay more money. He also noticed that many gals responded
with the same written email, just a different name.
I took the link off because I want people to trust the links that I put up.
But if it works for you have fun.

signature omitted for privacy

My answer:

sorry, Fling has been
paying my bills for the past 4-5 years.
You girls only give me about 1300 a
month, and half of it goes to my isp…

If every US girls gave me $5 a month I
would not have to have any such ads on
my site… but I have girls that have
been on my site for 13 years and make
hundreds of thousands of dollars a year,
more than half from my site, but would
not want to spend a penny with me.

But what goes around comes around, in
the form of being busted, getting sick,
and the like. Not like I wish that on
anyone, especially not my “customers”
but that is how the laws of the Universe
work.

That just gave me an idea of writing a
blogpost about this.

Thanks for the “push”

OK, so what the heck am I talking about when i say laws if the universe?

I am talking about the “Law of Cause and Effect”? (What goes around comes around…)

It says that every cause has an effect, and every effect must have had a cause.

What is an effect? Getting sick is an effect. Getting a great client is an effect. Getting into trouble is an effect. When everyone is in trouble but you, you seem to live in a bubble, untouchable. That is also an effect.

The word “effect” does not mean negative or positive. Its polarity depends on the “cause’s” polarity.

The law says that the effect must be the same kind and the same strength as the cause.

Unfortunately, there is time separating the cause and the effect, and it is often hard to connect the dots.

To make things more complicated, you can create a cause in one area of life, and get an effect in another one. Like the dishonest business man who makes money hands over fist but his wife leaves him. Or his heart gives out… Bummer. One needs to have a ph.D. to figure this thing out. Right?

Wrong. You can be PROACTIVE which means that you can design your actions in life to be positive causes. That way you can expect positive effects across the board.

I, personally, had no idea about this until about five years ago, and the first 55 years of my life was a downward spiral… almost all my actions brought me misery, trouble, pain, illness, poverty, etc. etc. Bad relationships, bad luck, bad health, bad people.

Since I learned about this, and changed my actions, life has been looking up.

So what do I do? Actually, quite a lot.

It hasn’t been easy, but it is working. I now sleep better, find solutions to problems I used to have, I am more optimistic, and the last area, my finances, is holding up: I am still paying my bills, I am not behind on any of them, I don’t owe any money… not many people can say that nowadays, am I right?

OK, why am I writing this article? Actually, I have two reasons:

1. I want to educate You. Why? Because I care about you.

   I want you to arm yourself with useful knowledge in this difficult period.

2. I would like to encourage you to give back where your receive. If you appreciate the free services you have been enjoying with me, you can start with donating $5 to me. Mail your donation to Sophie, 4465 E Genesee St #270, De Witt, NY 13214. Or paypal it to me. Go to pay pal and send me what you think you want to send.

I promise I won’t get mad at you if you don’t send me anything. Why? Because getting angry is a powerful cause that will make bad things rain at me… and I don’t want that. Would you?

Hey, business is tough.

You have a site.

You are trying to drum up business.

You advertise. You place free ads, you buy ads. Paid, or free, you invest your energies to drive interested traffic to your site.

Unfortunately, you find out that only a few out of every hundred visitors emails you or calls you for an appointment. The rest? Good question. What happens to the rest? What happens with your effort that drove all that traffic to your site? Is it wasted?

Yes, for the most part it is.

Unless.

Unless what? You ask.

Well, let me ask the question like this: how could you recycle your traffic, so you actually benefit from it, even if people didn’t “bite”, somewhat. Not as much as if they spent an hour with you, but still, more than nothing. More than a complete waste.

I know of two ways to do that.

First method: sign up to websites that send you traffic if you send them traffic. Kind of a traffic exchange. My toplist http://www.outcall.net/index1.htm is like that. I actually have six of those. This way you increase your chances to make more appointments.

Or my banner exchange… http://www.outcall.net/bp

It is customary to say that a website converts at a 1-2% rate.

What do I mean by convert? I mean how many people, out of a hundred, will actually purchase your services. So if you manage to get 100 visitors, you can count on 1-2 appointments, if your website is set up well to sell your time, if you answer your emai/phone, if you have time available, if you are professional and attractive.

Lots of ifs. But you already knew that.

Second method: sign up to a porn or dating website’s partnership program. You need to put up a banner or two on your website that people click on. The people that click on those links are not very interested in you (sorry if that offends you, but the truth is, not everybody is interested in you… bummer) but because they came to your site, they may buy a membership on the porn or dating site… and you make some money.

I have been making most of my income through those sites myself.

I have also set up a few other people so I know what kind of money you can expect to make.

One out of 100 people that comes to my site clicks on those links.I make a sale from every 300-400 people that I send. And www.fling.com pays me $35 for every sale.

So, unless you have a lot of, but I mean A LOT OF traffic, your income from those links will be between 0 and 35 dollars a month. A pittance, you say, and you are right.

This is where my offer comes in:

You can earn free advertising on my site, instead of earning the 0-35 dollars a month from www.fling.com.

I will set up a banner or link on your site to promote www.fling.com. I will set it up such that I’ll know if the banner is displayed, or not.

I give you a free ad as soon as the banner is on your site, and will continue your free ad as long as you have the banner on your site.**¹

Once a month I’ll give you a report on how much your site made. If the income is between 0 and 35 dollars, you continue with the “just a picture, no ranking” ad. If the income is between 35 and 70 dollars, you will get the picture plus ranking ad. If your site’s income is over $70, we’ll talk again to see how we’ll proceed.

Why should you do this through me and not through www.fling.com directly?

Good question. And I have a good answer. Because I give you more than just a couple of bucks. I give you traffic, I give you prospects that you can make an appointment with, and it is not costing you anything. Whereas I am sure you would not run to me with your $35 bucks when you get the check to see if you can buy advertising for it. But each $35 can translate to
1. the potential to earn money at your hourly rate
2. receive more traffic that will either buy your time or go to www.fling.com.

Why am I offering this deal if it is obvious that the advertising I am offering is worth a lot more than the money I will be making with the www.fling.com banners on your site?

You are right. And of course, you are wrong.

If you choose to pay outright for your advertising, I have made a better deal. But then again: will you pay for your advertising? Maybe.

This way I am investing in you with the hopes that you’ll make me some money. A little money is better than no money, would you agree?

**What happens if your site will not generate ANY money and you are getting free premium ads?

If you have no traffic, then probably you will lose your free ad after three consecutive months of not making any money.

I can monitor from my site what your site is producing. I can see the traffic you send, I can see the numbers.

1. **What happens if your site will not generate ANY money and you are getting free premium ads?

   If you have no traffic, then probably you will lose your free ad after three consecutive months of not making any money. [↩]

Hm. Good question.

Getting busted is a great way.

Getting hooked on some substance is another one.

The third way seems to be on the upswing. Looks innocent in the beginning. Even looks like a good idea. But it is as deadly as the above two.

It is getting a boy friend while you are working.

I have been there. I have seen it. The beginning, the middle and the end.

When you get in a relationship while you are a provider, the seed level, the consciousness level of the relationship that comes to you is not healthy.

You really are not available. You really can’t be quite honest. You really can’t fully give yourself to a relationship.

So what do you do?

You should choose, but of course, you can’t. Or at least it is not that easy. Your whole life is set up to generate the kind of income only this kind of work can generate, and just because you have a guy who is interested in you, doesn’t mean he is going to provide.

Your whole attitude is set up to be a provider and maybe that is what he likes… maybe he is lazy, maybe he is selfish, who knows.

I have NEVER, in my 21 years in this business, have seen a relationship that succeeded, if it started on the top of being an active provider.

One reason is that the other party, if he doesn’t know what you are doing, is not being honest with. If he does know, he will use you, and will always hold it against you.

From a sick seed only sick plant can grow, and the seed of that relationship is sick.

If you stop working, suddenly you will become needy of him helping you financially: that is another sureproof way to destroy a relationship.

If you don’t stop working, and try to ride two horses at the same time, you can’t do well either.

I spoke with an advertiser a few days ago. We had spoken before, and I was stunned by the immense tension that I heard in her voice. She told me she just started a relationship. Can you imagine how she comes across on the phone? Can you imagine how she is in the bedroom?

I have been there. I have destroyed my business. It took me five years or more to recover. If ever.

Had I continued working without interruption, I would have been able to retire — with money — in another 2-3 years. This way I was penniless, poor, humiliated, abused for 3-4 years, and continue to be struggling to this very day.

My advice: don’t do it. And I know what I am talking about.

Business is sparse…¹ people are thinking before they spend. What does this mean to you?

For many it meant: they have left the field.

For many, they came back after trying to make it in retirement.

For many: trouble is brewing. Rent is late, car payment is late, website is suspended. CC maxed out.

So what can you do? If you are smart. (If you are dumb, or live in hope: I am not talking to you.)²

I have distinguished three areas where you need to take action.

1. Economy
2. Priorities
3. Mindset

It is impossible to separate these… they intertwine, so here it is, with some organization.

Economy: You need to examine all your expenses and either eliminate them completely or replace them with a cheaper version.

Priorities: You need to set straightforward priorites. When you set them, look for guidance into what will have the longest impact on your life. If you look back, five years from now, what was relevant and important, and what was unimportant.

My suggestion is that you make a list like this: Read More…

1. especially between the 18th and the 21st of the month… that is when most cc bills are due [↩]
2. and if you are ON something, I am not talking to you either [↩]

On November 5th or 6th, just a day or two after the elections, Craigslist has changed its policy.

The new rule is that it cost $5 per post for escorts and other erotic service providers to post.

Accepted payment method is credit card or debit card, and it must be in your name. Gifts cards are not accepted.

The situation before that change was that you could post as many ads a day as many different ways you could say ornery, explicit, revealing and compromising things about your services.

The men that were attracted to this kind of language were seldom good customers, they wanted more for less, but you could get a lot of good business on Craigslist.

So what can you do if you don’t have a credit card or don’t want to give it to Craigslist?

Well, if you are interested in free advertising, my sites, outcall.net, and in-call.net are available, but you are not allowed to use the language that Craigs has put up, and you can only have one ad on each.

My craigs clone site, sophieslist.org, is largely unmonitored, and you can place multiple ads.

I have heard of two girls this past week that got busted. You need to pay attention to your conduct, to your wording, and listen keenly when you book, when you confirm, and when you give the exact address to the potential client. If you listen well, there is no way that people don’t reveal that they are up to no good. I mean fun… You can hear it. I’ll repeat: you can hear it. So please: listen. Don’t ever do a booking when your attention is compromised, or when you are in a rush, when you feel needy, or when you drink… Your judgment is going to be clouded, and you don’t need the trouble of bail, lawyer, newspaper mention, you don’t need that. It is bad business…

Be safe. Come, advertise free on my site, and see that my sites are not craigslist, but the quality of clientele is very high.

xoxo
Sophie

Your attitude is everything. You can look great… but with an attitude that is less than patient, easy going, accepting, smooth, interested, ready for anything, etc… you are going to lose the battle in an economy where only the best will survive.

I decided, about six months ago, that it is more important to keep the site fresh and full of responsive advertisers, than anything.

What I did is added an extra monthly step to everyone’s calendar: the need to re-activate the ad. It takes a lot, I admit, receiving my emails, opening them, reading them, and clicking on a link in the email, and then an enter button… It is a hassle: that is, if you have an attitude.

I came to this conclusion. I had two kinds of responses:

1. all smiley and grateful and appreciative. I am sure these girls are doing great. Because how you do anything is how you do everything.
2. all grumpy, all impatient, “if it is such a hassle, then just take me off your list” type of attitude. And because how you do anything is how you do everything… I can only imagine the economy’s impact on an provider like this: they soon will need to find a different job.

Conclusion: In crucial times like this attitude is more important than most. The economy effects the discretionary income of clients. Discretionary means that it is money they can decide how to spend. But they have less if any of that. I just look at my own pocketbook and I know.

Lots of things and lots of people stand in line to get their share of that discretionary income… and a smiley face, and good attitude can win it all for you. Are you in the game? Or do you forget that the experience begins with the first email, with the smile you have on your face while you pray that this guy will stick and pay your rent? Not the frown. The smile… ok?

Now go and look in the mirror. Pay attention only at the expression your face, your eyes, your posture have. Change it to loving, appreciative, light, attentive, there is no care in the world type of expression. That expression attracts… the other one repels.

Remember the Law of Attraction? Similars attract… And we are in the pleasure business… pleasure seeker is looking for pleasure seeker. Not someone who is trying to get a free lunch… or free rent.

OK?

What does it mean about you or your session if you use all caps in your ad? Well, that is not that simple. It could mean that you can’t tell the difference between capital letters and lower case letters, and you don’t care. Which means: you are ignorant. You also talk loud and without changing the intensity of your voice: you drain people’s energy, you are a drag. The session with you will suit people who aren’t interested in companionship, in connecting with the provider, because there is no connecting to you: nobody home, nobody answers, your life is about you.

Another biggie: why would I worry about you using lots of exclamation marks. (By the way: using more than one is already too many.)

Just listen what that symbol, ! is called: exclamation mark. Exclamation, if you really scratch the surface, means you are suddenly speaking louder. To bring attention to something.

If everything is exclaimed, then nothing is whispered… go back to the “all caps” paragraph and take heed. Everything it says can be said about you, and in addition it reveals that you are not sure of yourself, or you are actually lying. As in saying something about you or your session that is not true.

Truthful statements don’t have to be yelled. Whisper is heard over the storm even, yelling just blends right in.

Oh, here is one of my “favorites:” superlatives. As in “best” “gorgeous” etc. I have been in the adult business for 20 years now. I can count the girls that are truly gorgeous on one hand. Most of you are slightly above average, many of you are average, and many more: just normal. With makeup and beautiful lingerie. Of course, a dog is gorgeous for a guy before a session. They will even tell you so. Just like they say “hunger is the best cook”. Everything tastes good.

What’s my advice? Be sparing. Use one, maybe two of these big words. You can promise to be great, you can promise to please, you can promise to be unforgettable. It’s actually attractive. But stating them as facts will bite you in the rear end… promise.

Some of you don’t have much to say about yourself, so you put your disclaimer in the ad, something like: I am not selling sex. This is not an offer for prostitution. etc. etc. etc.

Now, why on earth would you say that? If you are not selling sex, then you are not. If you are… all the disclaimers in the world won’t say you from getting into trouble.

Now, if you knew what you are talking about, then even if the chief prosecutor showed up in your room posing as a client would not find anything wrong in your conduct. He, in fact, would remember for years, that he was so irresistible, that you wanted him. Wanted him so bad, that you asked his permission to jump him… got it? No need for disclaimers. Your disclaimer is your behavior. When you put it in your ad… it is like putting a sign on yourself: hey, I am a pro… fill in the blanks. Don’t do it.

What does it mean about you if you do excessive client screening. By excessive, I mean, you need all their contact numbers, you call their workplace, you ask for their drivers license.

Do you know what I think is the truth about you? You don’t really want to be doing this profession. You want control, every area, every moment. You are distrustful, and you are no fun. You don’t listen. You like to speak, but to listen and hear? Oh, not you. You will talk a lot during the session… there will be no intimacy, and your rate of repeat clientele is going to be low, low, low.

What if you use “too few words” in your ad? What do I say it means about you?
Your ad is like: “escort service” “traveling blonde escort” or something very “meaningful” like the above. Well, you think that people should be able to read your mind. You think that advertising yourself is below you: you are so great that it is obvious. You are like the little deli that the owner build on a side street without so much as a sign. Only people who trip over you will find you… and it’s a pity: some of you are very good provider, but conceited. Communication is not your strong suit. Therefore intimacy will not be available in your sessions.

What if you are the type of provider that wants to write a “novel”, i.e. you use too many words in your ad. Hmm… that is a difficult one. Maybe you are trying to leave nothing to the imagination? Maybe you lack, or don’t trust enough, or don’t believe in discovery and magic…? Hmm. I don’t know. I know that it is not attractive and it is not practical.

In my many years, I have noticed that the more conversation before a session, the less chance for an actual session, the mental masturbation relieves all the tension necessary for a client to shell out the mucho dinaro, it takes to book you.

And what if they do book? My experience has shown me that the session won’t be magical… and then, why bother.

If you are not magical, you are not worth your salt.